Thoughts on the recently announced “Dynasty Warriors” and “Legend of Zelda” crossover “Hyrule Warriors” seem to range from OMG to FML all over the internet, and among the incredibly insane Nintendo hardcore fanbase.

Personally I think it’s about time that Nintendo starting merging their established properties with other incredibly random, yet oddly appropriate, gaming franchises. In fact, as long as the door to the entire concept is kicked in now and anarchy reigns, I can think of  at least six lazily titled Nintendo crossovers I’d like to see.

Bushido Emblem (Fire Emblem/Bushido Blade)

If it weren’t already established that life isn’t fair, I would eternally wonder why the “Bushido Blade” series has not seen a proper follow up in years. A truly original entrant into the fighter genre that’s capable of effortlessly producing intense match ups, “Bushido Blade” revolves around a combat system where one hit can end it all. Think “Dive Kick” with more strategy.

The “Fire Emblem” series diverse cast of characters and their appropriately large arsenal of weapons would actually fit nicely into “Bushido’s” mechanics. For that matter, so would “Emblem’s” consistently well done art style and the fact its characters are used to dying quick and unheroic deaths (at least when I play it).

Also…oh screw it I just want a new “Bushido Blade” game. It can take place in “Pokemon’s” world for all I care. Get on it Nintendo.

PokeSpore (Pokemon/Spore)

Of course since “Bushidomon” isn’t likely even by the new Nintendo crossover standards, maybe they could blend the famous monster catching series with the 2008 “could have been way better” PC classic “Spore.”

It’s a natural merger really. In “PokeSpore” you could design a world full of Pokemon, and watch them evolve and become prized by Pokemasters everywhere. Plus Nintendo could just scrounge “PokeSpore” player’s games to tap into a nigh infinite free source of increasingly uninspired “Pokemon” designs.

That’s a win-win people.

Silent Crossing (Silent Hill/Animal Crossing)

Anyone can get lost in the world of “Animal Crossing.” Besides being filled with a seemingly endless amount of activities and interior design possibilities, it’s lighthearted cartoonish nature makes for a very inviting setting that can make a 100 hours pass by in what feels like minutes.

However the real question is, can the “Animal Crossing” gameplay survive a trip to a more undesirable locale like “Silent Hill?”

The answer, of course, is shit yeah it can. In “Silent Crossing” you’ll play the new mayor of “Silent Hill” and are tasked with keeping up the town and interacting with its eternally tortured denizens, as well as redecorating the world to reflect the unique psychological horrors of its next outside visitor.

The Binding of Icarus (Kid Icarus/The Binding of Issac)

Look, most of the ideas on this are poorly conceived and lazily written jokes. A rouge-like “Kid Icarus,” though, is no joke. It would just kick ass.

After all, the original “Kid Icarus” was an insanely tough game that might as well of had perma-death in place, and even featured an upgrade and item system that’s not too out of place from the average rouge-like. Combine that with the diverse mythical elements of the Icarus series, and this isn’t hard to see as a highly entertaining possibility.

In any case a rouge-like is a more logical genre for the series to merge with than a 3D shooter was.

League of Smash (League of Legends/Super Smash Bros.)

Blitzcrank, Ahri, and Darius? Never heard of them. You want real heroes you’ve got to look at Link, Mario, and to a lesser extent Luigi. You’ve got to look at the “Smash Bros.” roster.

In “League of Smash” you would choose a team of classic Nintendo heroes with their own unique attributes and abilities, and pit them against an opposing team of Nintendo heroes in a MOBA setting. Minions are Pikmin, worlds are based on classic Nintendo environments, and…

Huh. Maybe it’s my 8 A.M bourbon and bourbon (that’s bourbon mixed with bourbon) kicking in, but that actually sounds like something I would buy the hell out of.

Mushroom Kingdom Hearts        (Nintendo/Kingdom Hearts)

Let’s be honest. At the end of the day crossovers are built on the philosophy of combining two or more popular properties to appeal to a wider, established demographic. Following that logic, the combination of Nintendo, Disney, and “Final Fantasy” would have to be considered the alpha crossover.

It doesn’t even come close to mattering what the actual game plays like. This thing could make so much money that it would completely undo the order and structure of the global economy.

Hey there Sony, it’s your old friend common sense. Long time no see right? Well, listen, I know we haven’t talked much since you didn’t invite me to that 2006 E3 conference, and I’d love to reminisce about those times we hung out and you moved to the CD format and revolutionized the industry, or added a DVD player to your system and changed how a game console was viewed as the central home entertainment piece, but the truth is that I came here to talk about something serious.

I heard about your new patent you see. You know, the one that in only a couple of years could theoretically allow you to end the sale of used games by flagging them and preventing the discs from being used on other systems? The one that sent Gamestop’s stock tumbling down 5% at just the idea of it? You know the one right? You do? Oh great man. Great.

It’s just, I thought I should be the one to tell you it’s not a good idea. Take it from me that it just doesn’t make sense. I know you grind your teeth (a practice I also don’t advise) every time you think of the used game market and the money that Gamestop alone takes from it that you essentially don’t see a dime of, just like I know that it makes your blood boil to think of it as anything less than organized piracy. And hey, you don’t need to tell me that if all of those used game profits went back into yours, and the developer’s, pockets, then you could theoretically change the literal fortune of the industry either. Remember, this is your old pal common sense. I get that.

But you can’t honestly believe that you wield a position of unscrupulous power that would allow you to get away with this do you? You do understand that Microsoft and Nintendo (who at least call me for drinks once in a while…just saying) have equal or larger market shares worldwide to boast about , and used the entire last generation for the lone goal of making people forget the name Playstation was once synonymous with video games right? I mean, you know that actually implementing such an idea would only drive gamers to those systems in droves, and as they make the kind of profits you only dreamed about with this act precisely by not implementing it, you could only sit and watch as every loyalist you had jumps ship?

What are you thinking man? Do you believe that you somehow have enough exclusive titles that gamers will still stick with you through this? I got news for you pal, “Uncharted” and “God of War” don’t come out that often. Or maybe you think the massive fan support that the new kid on the block the “Ouya” generated with exactly the opposite kind of philosophy that you are proposing was just a fluke? Or that should Valve release the Steam Box it wouldn’t be the most anticipated console to hit the market in years? Did the Playstation Move, Home, the PSP and Vita, and Wonderbook somehow become amazing successes when I wasn’t paying attention, so you’re not worrying about the repercussions of your actions anymore?

Ok, that was harsh. I apologize.

I Mean, Just Because Someone Else Had It First Doesn’t Mean it Isn’t a Good Idea Right?

But really my point is this. You’ve changed Sony. You used to be cool. You brought people a system in the Playstation that for the first time got the kids who used to beat up other kids for playing video games, playing the same video games. You changed the world overnight by supporting “Final Fantasy VII”, and shaped a new generation of controller design with the Dualshock. You’ve given countless runaway and unwanted developers and properties homes and turned them into favorite sons. Hell, you invented the Playstation 2!

Yet look at you now. Drawing up papers that would screw over the little guy the world over so you can maintain your finger grip grasp on video game mountain, rather than lend a hand to consumers in greater need. You’d rather sink retail stores, and make gamers pay a premium on all titles they buy, and force parents to work harder to afford the games their kids want for their birthdays or Christmas, just so you can theoretically see profits grow without any creative effort on your part. Also, even just selling this technology to developers for their optional use as you’re rumored to do, doesn’t make this any better than peddling drugs rather than using them.

Maybe this whole idea is just a bluff, but let me tell you something most people know. Puffing up your chest to look bigger, doesn’t really make you bigger.

But hey, I don’t want this to be a fight between us Sony. I just want you to know, that I know, that you would never actually do something so monumentally stupid as attempting to ban the sale of used games. I know that, because should you go through with it, there won’t even be the need for a fight, because in every respect in which success in this industry is measured,  you will have lost right out of the gate.

How do I know that? Well, far be it for me to brag, but it is just common sense.