Ever since I bumped Mario’s head into an invisible block in “Super Mario Bros.,” I’ve been a fan of secrets in gaming.

When you consider the amount of work put into making a complete game even functional, it’s amazing that game developers have the time to create some of the coolest objects in the game, and hide them places where they may never be found. Yet ever since some hidden credits in “Adventure,” video games and secrets have gone hand and hand.

Of these secrets, the best are the hidden weapons. Often maniacally tucked away and requiring a great deal of luck and effort to ever wield, they usually serve as unopposed killing machines worth every ounce of time and energy used to harness them, though the journey to do so is often more difficult than the game ever would have been if you’d chosen not to seek them out.

I love them though for their holy grail like status in many of the titles they are featured in, and these are five of my favorites.

The Sword of Kings – “EarthBound”

Any day I get to mention “EarthBound” is a good day.

My favorite game of all time has a series of items that you only have a 1 out of 128 chance of acquiring after beating certain enemies in specific spots. Of those items, the most sought after may be the Sword of Kings.

While not the most powerful of the 1/128 items, it is the only weapon that one of your characters can use in the game, giving him a significant offensive boost. It also must be unlocked against a very tough enemy at a point where, if you haven’t been level grinding, you are lucky enough to survive a battle with, much less play the odds of defeating enough to find the fabled sword.

To this day I’ve never unlocked the Sword of Kings, though I regularly try.

The MIRV – “Fallout 3”

There is a weapon in “Fallout 3” called the Fat Man that shoots a mini-nuclear warhead that nothing in the game can withstand. The MIRV shoots 8 of those warheads at once.

To unlock it, you must find five transcripts from the Keller family spread throughout the world. Unless you’re cheating, these are not easy to just run across, and even doing so yields no guarantee you know what the hell they lead to. Piece it all together though, and you’d find your way to a hidden section of the national guard depo where the most powerful, and unnecessary, weapon ever in a video game lies.

Even in a world built upon, and still teeming with, nuclear atrocities, the MIRV might just be the greatest war crime ever constructed. It’s also happens to be fun as hell.

Biggoron’s Sword – “Ocarina of Time”

A gaming secret in a major release that few people knew about? There was a pre-internet time when such a thing was possible.

You may think there is no greater sword in “Ocarina of Time” than the Master Sword, but you would be wrong. To get it though, you have to complete a VERY lengthy quest of which there are very few hints of its existence, or where to go next during it. Make it through this hellacious and confusing journey though, and you’ll be rewarded with a two handed sword that does twice the damage as the Master Sword, and looks 10x as intimidating.

Finding the Biggoron’s Sword without the step by step instructions was a truly rewarding experience back in the day. Even with the walkthrough, it is still one of Link’s greatest all time weapons.

Scarab Gun (Main Location)- “Halo 2”

The Scarab Gun is like the lost Ark of the Covenant in that it may be something man was never meant to find, and is face meltingly powerful.

Whoever discovered this gun in the game, and the sequence to get it, is an obsessive compulsive evil genius. The Scarab was clearly not meant to be found by 99.9% of the people who played “Halo 2,” as the commonly accepted process to acquire it demands tremendous skill, potential hours upon hours of patience, and a split second moment of reaction thats absence negates the previous two requirements.

Your reward is a normal looking gun floating above a warning marker in a seemingly unreachable part of the level, that just so happens to pack the firepower of a tank, and will obliterate any single obstacle in your path. The gun only lasts one level, but the thrill of acquiring it is forever.

Excalibur II – “Final Fantasy IX”

Though I’m sure this isn’t factually true, from my personal knowledge and experience, this is as hard of a hidden weapon to unlock as exists.

See, if you play “Final Fantasy IX” the normal way (beat the main game, do a few side quests, enjoy yourself) it takes you about 45-50 hours to complete. To unlock the Excalibur II, you’ll need to get to this 4-disc adventure’s final boss in under 12 hours.

Yikes.

It’s not a challenge any sane individual would ever undertake, and requires all of your powers and efforts to complete. Manage to do so though, and you are rewarded with a sword that can deal the series’ 9999 damage max to even the most powerful of enemies at will, not to mention more hardcore nerd bragging rights than you could acquire even through sex with an actual un-paid human.

So I’m very curious to know what your favorite hidden weapons are, and which are the most difficult you’ve ever personally found. Be sure to let me know in the comments below.

Since it’s a slow news day (potential “Zone of Enders” sequel aside), I thought I’d take a look ahead towards this years E3 conference by going back.

You see, E3 has had a lot of problems over the years. Developers drop out, games disappear, Jamie Kennedy makes an appearance…they even got rid of the booth babes. Against it all, though, sometimes a moment can emerge from the show that wades through all the trouble and dodges the press leaks to emerge from the other side as a real surprise. Here are a few.

Introducing Killzone 2….Sort Of

The big reveal trailer has been E3’s trump card for many years. “Metal Gear Solid 2“, “Halo 2“, lots of other 2’s…they’re usually a pretty big deal. Over the years, game developers have turned the video game trailer into an art, which often translates to the trailer being better than the game.

There is no greater example of this than the infamous “Killzone 2” trailer. Spearheaded by the unveiling of the Playstation 3, Sony’s 2005 conference was a runaway success, and “Killzone 2” was the highlight. The first “Killzone” was a shoddy attempt at Sony trying to make a “Halo Killer”, and was a mediocre success. The footage shown for the sequel, however, was so dramatic and technologically mind blowing that it would have stood out amongst the packed line up on its own. However, the hype was bolstered by Sony’s insistence that what people were seeing was in fact real time.

Of course that would turn out to be a big fat lie. “Killzone 2” was a good looking game, but it was nowhere near the trailer in any respect. Why this ultimately hurt Sony by taking the focus away from its otherwise amazing conference, for a brief time the debate over the trailers authenticity was all anyone could talk about.

The Original Shocker

It was E3 1995, the very first E3, and Sega CEO Tom Kalinske took the stage and told everyone that due to unprecedented demand (Disclaimer: real demand may not have been unprecedented) Sega would no longer be meeting its originally promised September 2nd North American release date. Instead they would push the release date up and anyone interested could buy the system that very day for a retail price of $399. It was a bombshell in the industry without precedent before or peer sense.

Of course in classic Sega tradition, just when it looks like they’ve taken the world by storm, a rival comes in and parts the clouds. In this case it was Sony’s Steve Race who took the stage and simply said “$299” and walked off. The message was clear. Sony’s system was going to cheaper, have more developer support, and better launch titles. All fans had to do was wait for it. The Saturn meanwhile angered retailers who suddenly had to sell a lot of Saturns without a chance to promote, and had an unspectacular launch that kicked off a mediocre system.

Still, it was a shock.

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In his latest Q&A session, Shigeru Miyamoto said he’s prioritizing the Wii MotionPlus for the next game in the Zelda series. One of the biggest complaints about Twilight Princess was that the swordplay didn’t closely enough mimic the motions of the controller.

“In this (installment of the series), we’re using MotionPlus to make you feel much more like you’re actually fighting while holding a sword in your hand,” said Miyamoto. At E3 this year Shigeru had said he wanted to make the next Zelda Wii MotionPlus exclusive, but that might not be the best idea as far as sales are concerned.

“In the previous game, you aimed at things by pointing at the screen, but this time we’ll use MotionPlus to create a much more convenient targeting system and a more pleasurable playing experience.” Sounds like music to my ears. I really despised the point-for-aiming thing, and if the Wii MotionPlus can solve some of the fencing woes, it should be a nice improvement.

The Q&A is in Japanese for now, but Nintendo usually posts an English translation shortly after.