This post is fueled in part by my own rage surrounding some recent losses, but it’s something that also really needs to be addressed. If you expect to win ranked games, stop picking Teemo.
Some of you are going to say “lolwut?” and lucky you. If you aren’t seeing Teemo in your ranked matches, you’re in much better shape than I am. I see him regularly, and most of them are players without any concept of how the game works. A recent Teemo actually said, after I took mid as Ez because I was the carry, “lol since when does Ezreal carry?” At any rate, if you’re picking Teemo, I’ll give you a few good reasons to stop.
First, his passive is nearly worthless. The attack speed bonus made it better, but better from the most situational uses in the game. If you’re looking for an attack damage champion to play, consider Tristana, whose passive keeps her out of harm’s way, or Ashe, whose passive grants critical strikes when you’ve been out of battle for a period of time.
Beyond his passive, two of Teemo’s other skills are next to worthless. Poison is only good at very early levels – it’s laughable damage later in the game – and Move Quick (or as I call it, Scamper) is only good for getting up to a fight. His one real skill outside his ultimate is his Blinding Dart, which only affects one target and has a fairly long cooldown. His mushrooms can be nice, but they require you to go out of your way to bait people into them, and most smart players won’t follow you. They are also directly countered by an Oracle’s Elixir.
If you’re playing against a smart team, Teemo turns into a one-skill champion. He can blind, and that’s about it. There are plenty of ranged carries offering more utility and a much more devastating lineup of skills to help bring your team a victory.
Please remember, this is a guide for ranked games. Teemo can be a lot of fun if people aren’t paying attention to your shrooms, so by all means, enjoy him in your normal and practice games. If you want to improve your ranking, though, leave Teemo at the champion selection screen.
As an aside, Teemo generates more fan art than any other character as far as I can tell.
