“South Park: Stick of Truth” Gets Approved in Australia Thanks to Some Creative Censoring

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We may never know what exactly is up the collective butts of Australian video game censors, but that hilariously misinformed and outdated group of do gooders is at it again.

The target this time is “South Park: Stick of Truth.” Specifically the censors rejected the game on the basis of a scene involving penis shaped anal probes, and an abortion scene involving vacuums and a wire.

On a side note, isn’t it nice when game adaptations stay so true to the source material?

Anyway developer Obsidian tried re-submitting the game under some slightly toned down conditions, but were rejected at each turn. Finally they submitted an impressively sarcastic version of the probing scene where the image of the scene is replaced with a crying koala while on screen text informs you as to what is actually happening in the original scene.

Unsurprisingly, considering the board’s traditionally misinformed interpretation of comedy, this version was accepted.

So it looks like the fair Australian gamers of the world will get to play “Stick of Truth,” albeit with more static images of Koalas in place than were originally intended, as well as some minor mini-games axed entirely, thanks to some creative skirting of the censors.

Seriously though, what is the logic behind the extreme censorship of gaming in Australia? Considering it’s the year 2013 and I can probably pull up a YouTube video of mass genocides set to a dubstep soundtrack and intercut with images of “My Little Pony” fan porn on my phone, does a cartoon video game character’s anal probe encounter really constitute the ultimate line of morality?

  

Video Game Auxiliary Awards for 2013

Game of the year awards? Yeah those are fun. But in a year as full as 2013, I didn’t feel satisfied with the amount of games I got to talk about in that mere top ten collection.

As such, I’ve created a number of auxiliary awards in an effort to cover more ground. Some are good, some are bad, and some are so specific they could only be dreamed up after a six beer self medication session following another traumatic Dallas Cowboys loss on Sunday. These are those awards.

Game That Proves You Can Turn Anything Into a Videogame – Viscera Cleanup Detail

Viscera

Are games about farming and driving a truck across Europe weird? Yeah but at least there is some potential for excitement in those scenarios, as they allow you to do something you may not otherwise get to in real life.

It’s “Viscera Cleanup Detail” that proves that no topic is incapable of being gameified, though. In it you play a janitor tasked with cleaning up the aftermath of video game levels, with gameplay consisting largely of mopping. At this rate I wouldn’t be surprised if we get a game about data entry where you are actually doing data entry for a company, but pay them to do it.

Most Overrated Game – Tomb Raider

TombRaider

I tend to shy away from this topic, as by its very nature it requires you to take shots at a game that’s generally well liked. It’s difficult to not sound like kind of an ass in the process.

However, the love train for “Tomb Raider” is getting a little too crowded this awards season. It’s by far the best “Tomb Raider” game made in years, but is also burdened by uneven action sequences, a meandering plot, a host of half implemented ideas, and not enough platforming, puzzle solving, and actual tomb raiding. It’s a very good game, but certainly not a great one.

Best System of The Year – Nintendo 3DS

3DS

Hey believe me, I’m just as shocked as you are.

The 3DS has still yet to really prove that its 3D capabilities are worthwhile, but when you look at the system’s murder row  lineup this year (“Fire Emblem,” “Pokemon,” “Zelda,” “Animal Crossing,” etc.) its hard to deny that the handheld provided better exclusive entertainment than any other platform in 2013.

Most Intriguing Developer Not Getting Enough Attention – Simogo

YearWalk

Mobile gaming is, by and large, bastardized by the “hardcore” gaming community. As such, many great mobile games tend to go unnoticed and unappreciated by that particular contingent.

In the case of Simogo that’s an incredible shame. From the entertainingly inventive “Beat Sneak Bandit” to genre, and even medium, defying experiences like “Year Walk” and “Device 6,” Simogo is proving to be one of the most inventive and original studios in all of gaming. It’s a crime that they aren’t getting more attention.
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